ULTIMATE FEMALE JOKE

It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes. And there are unisex jokes.

Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hope that women will love it then pass it on and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00 only ,  on one condition..."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20.00 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Y74BAJ_gwMQ

Enjoy or I'll send the rhubarb bashers round.

My name is Don and I'm a bonsaiholic.
My imaginary friend Givitago takes over when I'm not sure of myself in print. He's not a complete fool - several bits are missing.

This message has been created using 100% recycled electrons

My name is Don and I'm a bonsaiholic.
My imaginary friend Givitago takes over when I'm not sure of myself in print. He's not a complete fool - several bits are missing.

This message has been created using 100% recycled electrons

This went on for some time and he gradually ventured deeper into the woodland glades with his accustomed hop, skip and jump meanwhile whistling tunelessly.

One day, he was accosted by a group of elves who demanded "What do you mean by tripping through our woodland glades with a hop, skip and a jump meanwhile whistling tunelessly." He replied, "I meant no harm, I just like to go tripping through the woodland glades with a hop, skip and a jump meanwhile whistling tunelessly."  "This cannot be allowed", said one of the elves. "Don't you realise that you are in the realm of Queen Mab who may take objection to you tripping throught the woodland glades with a hop, skip and a jump meanwhile whistling tunelessly?. You must come along with us and stand before the Queen."

The hare was taken before Queen Mab who enquired "What have we here?" A spokesman for the elves intimated "We discovered this hare tripping through the woodland glades with a hop, skip and a jump meanwhile whistling tunelessly your majesty."  "Oh! how unfortunate" quoth the Queen, "Don't you know that you are in the sacred region and that your actions in tripping through the woodland glades with a hop, skip and a jump meanwhile whistling tunelessly, constitutes an infringement of fairy by-laws?"  "I'm sorry your majesty" pleaded the hare, " I never realised that tripping.....you know the rest....tunelessly, was illegal."

"Well" argued Mab, "Its so serious that I am minded to change you into a goon for tripping through the woodland glades with a hop, skip and a jump meanwhile whistling tunelessly. Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?"

The hare responded "Oh well, hare today and goon tomorrow."

My name is Don and I'm a bonsaiholic.
My imaginary friend Givitago takes over when I'm not sure of myself in print. He's not a complete fool - several bits are missing.

This message has been created using 100% recycled electrons

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"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
 -- Anais Nin

"valde bonsai ex ferreus opus" (see I can do latin as well!)

The Human mind is like a Parachute, They both need to be open to work!